The Full Mikey

THE SUN Magic Mike review — The sexiest, steamiest show in town

“LADIES, hold on tight, because this show is like a log flume – if you’re sat on the front row you’re going to get wet!”

That’s the promise of bespectacled comedian David Morgan as he introduces Magic Mike Live at London’s Hippodrome Casino.

A strip-show virgin, I went along on opening night to see what all the fuss is about — can a bevy of blokes dancing in their pants really be that sexy? Rest assured, they certainly can.

I reckon this production must be the West End’s sexiest show since Jason Donovan donned his Technicolor Dreamcoat.

Any dream will do — and whatever yours is, these lads are here to make it come true.

All my fears of pale, spotty bumcheeks and ferocious willy wanging were quickly dispelled when Channing Tatum himself stepped on stage to introduce his boys.

Chiselled to perfection, the 38-year-old Hollywood sex god created the show as a sequel to the Magic Mike and Magic Mike XXL films about male strippers, in which he starred — and he hand-picked these dancers.

As squealing audience members took photos of him, the ever-smooth Channing climbed on the lap of one happy snapper and removed her phone. “This is better isn’t it?” he smirked as he straddled her. I think she agreed.

Inches from the stage in the intimate 325-seat theatre, we all got up close and personal with the “dancers”.

That’s right, we’re not supposed to call them strippers. These boys are dedicated professionals at the pinnacle of their dancing careers.

They work out and rehearse daily, many of them sticking to vegan diets, and perform six nights a week.

As for the women in the audience, choreographer Alison Faulk told me: “I think we appeal to a lot of different emotions of women. We hope they leave feeling empowered and able to ask for more in their lives, to know they can ask for whatever they want.”

Whether it appeals to their “emotions” or something else, the show is already an assured hit — sold out until March having raked in £7.4million in advance sales.

It’s proving a magnet for all-female birthdays and hen dos, but at the performance I attended on Wednesday night there was even a smattering of blokes with their partners — hoping to pick up some tips perhaps?

I can imagine that this extraordinary troupe of Magic Mikes might be a little intimidating for the average bloke, as they flaunt their considerable assets to a hysterical audience of red-blooded women for a full 90 minutes. There’s no full frontal nudity — the goods are all safely encased in thongs. But there’s still plenty to hold your attention. The character of Mike, who famously dances to Ginuwine’s Nineties hip-hop anthem Pony in both of the blockbuster films, is certainly not of the one-trick variety. And neither are his fellow stallions. As well as the standard bicep flexing and buttock clenching, the buff blokes performed trapeze acts, played instruments, bumped, ground and tap-danced.

But there is a plot of sorts. In this version Mike is actually Michelangelo, a timid waiter who experiences a sexual awakening when the MC, comedian Samantha Baines, teaches him about women and his fellow dancers teach him how to please women. By the end of the show Mike is all man. In a script dripping with innuendos, Samantha started off by introducing Michelangelo to her Sistine Chapel, pointing suggestively between her legs. Next she revealed the audience’s safe word would be “Unicorn”’ — how apt, it’s usually blokes who get the horn. You’re meant to call it out if one of the dancers gets too close for comfort and, for some reason, you want your lapdance to stop.

This room was gagging for a piece of the action though, and not one of us would dream of mentioning the mythical horse. Thankfully, these men were eager to please. The well-oiled Adonises attended to every single audience member, with smouldering smiles and politely placed palms as they weaved in between the tables. A lucky few got some one-to-one time — a lapdance in their seats or simulated sex dance on stage. Sat at the edge of an aisle, I suddenly found myself up close and personal with a 6ft 3in beefcake. Wafting his luscious blond curly locks against my face, Pip Hersee grinned cheekily before moving on to the next wide-eyed woman. Later Pip, 26, revealed his top tips if you want to be the audience member who is hauled up on stage for a special treat, revealing: “Trousers are best.” Apparently this is to avoid any body parts being exposed. Fair point.

Pip, who trained at the Royal Ballet School, added: “It’s all about eye contact. We’re searching for people who want to get involved with us. If they show an interest you can definitely tell in their eyes.” Mum-of-two Mel Sadler, of Ipswich, was there for her 30th birthday, and must have had the look of love in her peepers as she was ground on by every single dancer. Afterwards the customer service worker said: “I got a lapdance from every one. I got to touch them and hold their bums.

“My hands smell amazing. They smelled gorgeous, of aftershave.

“I definitely didn’t use the unicorn word — it wasn’t necessary.”

Unlike many gentlemen’s clubs, at this show you can look and you definitely can touch. But beware, Mike’s magic wand is out of bounds. Same goes for his fellow wizards. Dancer Brian Siregar, 24, from California, told me: “We tell them, ‘Oh you can’t do that. I know you want to but you can’t’. There is security for a reason.” And Samantha has told us in no uncertain terms that any women being “disrespectful” to the dancers will be removed by bouncers. But ultimately, the show is about giving women what they want. Compere Samantha told me later: “Women can sit there and hopefully not feel patronised but feel spoken to on a real level and feel like this is a space for you to have a nice time and it’s not a sleazy space.” The act is a knock off of the Las Vegas original, which has been running for more than a year, but with a British twist — tongue-in-cheek humour and home-grown talent. At £125 a pop for a front row table, £95 for a couch seat or £65 for general seating, this is no Full Monty.